Tribal warfare translates into animal instinct and behavior
The kind that tests your survival, that strengthens your flaws, and reveal the hidden
When in society, playing the society roles,
it's not really a choice, but rather a situation which occurs regardless of its want or not
Every year, as a human, a major life lesson is learnt, the mind evolves and another or a few layers peel off
In the year of relationships, 2009, I split in half. I was torn between that which is right for me, and that which I'd known and which all the people surrounding me were following. It's a crucial point, where after a lifetime of society expectations, rebellion to rules, and destructive patterns, you reach an age where there's a bump in the road and the hard work relies in choosing an option in a limited time space slot.
No more do society structures impress, nor does the 'popularity' crest. In truthfulness, the image and mask of years failed to relate during the moment it fell. When you live and befriend society members whose main concern is their social attributes, you quickly discover that, that is their own friend and perhaps the biggest foe of anybody who fails to live by their standards in these circles.
I'm happy to say that over half a year, painful standings and questions all around, my decision was to take the path which I completely feared for such a long time, but I knew was the greatest option that could have surmount all the obstacles, I had finally crosser over, passed and cried on.
It meant giving up, on things which had already betrayed me, left me or failed to exist when the road was crossed and rough. And most of all, let go all of those units which didn't fit into my patterns anymore and relationships which never were self-fulfilling and truly passed their sale by date. Which perhaps truly explains why some people struggle for approval, all they need to do is change their friends!!
For such a long time, for years and years I had repeated the same mistake of trying to fit in with people who I never felt were right for me, trying to ignore that little voice inside that said, Stop, leave! Imagining it to be some resistance, yet I was the biggest resistance in the face of my intuition, which only proved itself right too soon for me to even notice how much all had changed in my life. Perhaps subconsciously, I chose it because I knew I would learn the most from these falls.
And yes, there is a silver lining, amongst the dark and tormented clouds. A line which reminds you of something funny, a twist in the tale, which allows the situation to be put into perspective and for it gain a momentum which allows one to really value self above all. The twist in this tale, no matter which relationship, if one observes that one is not part of those peoples lives anymore, it becomes a tale in itself, for they have lost out on a truth and light which doesn't conform.
