Growing up

When you start stating your points aloud, a lot can change in your world

From simplicity, small chatter, gossip, and talks, the works can change altogether into a full blown chaos theory. 

The material (fake) acquaintance start falling apart, as suddenly people have much to say about your person, due to some choice of words which only enforces your strong, yet upcoming voice. 

The founded relationships, stay put, growing as the parties involve evolve. Yet much changes, as time passes, for with every transformation, there remains the question, if the relationship will stay in one's life, as a connection which existed before.

The society connections, which sometimes exist in one's life for decades, are put on a standstill, for sometimes we have changed, grown, evolved, even practiced our mind, yet come across those few who haven't moved an inch. 

What happens when you change, do all your relationships change?

If your relationship with yourself has changed, do your mirror a new series of relationships, do you see things in a new way, and do you strive for even better relationships, filled with further love, in the same way you begin to love yourself more....

 

Attachments

Attachments, are they truly our emotional love towards someone..

Or are they merely a tactic our body and mind use in correlation to resist the growth our soul is about to go through...


Do we love an idea so much, that it becomes larger than life, and overwhelms us into an oblivion of something being too good to be true. A lie we tell ourselves, in the face of disaster, or in the fear of being alone. Is it love, or simply the fear to walk ahead, scared that experience will repeat itself in the course of the path ahead.

In my case, I think making sense of an attachment is far grander, than the actual attachment is. For making it purposeful in itself, allows me to move ahead. What's right for society can only become right for me, when I experiement, test, and see if it fits me appropriately, much like paving my own way, choosing my own deco, and furnishing my own makings. To Guj, attachments are sharing her first experiences with someone she loves, be it the first time she visits an atm or the first time she meets a smooth man who knows how to dance. To Bhatia, life is a huge attachment, be it her boyfriend, her maid, an experience which happened when she was seven. And to the girl whose surname reminds me of bangles, nothing could be a bigger attachment than what she considers to be hers, be it her boyfriend, her children, and even her clien't couture line.

Then why is it, that when the attachment, fails to live up to its expectations, something changes, and we become detached, or perhaps simply move forward..

Are we that judgemental  of something not being the way we want it to be, or are we simply lost in our failures of not being the perfect somebody that we imagine we have the potential to be.
And if it's not us, does the other, actually mirror our own challenges, or do we all reach a point of realization when something stops working, and believe that there is definitely something out there, more in tune with our needs, our wants, and with a connection which yes involves work, but also happens further naturally. It's the 'more factor,' belief which arises, and seems to move us ahead, to a better job, a better relationship, a better environment.  The factor, which mantains growth, with something new, for our changed selves.

With no further hesitation, attachments are what motivates us when all is lost, for they are the root of a want, which we are determined to fill, past or no past. What once was a lifetime away, is a step away, and eventually will become of baby step aspirational movements, to attain and achieve the goal which is in sight, for it has been created in the mind, in our lives, and in our future, which as many say, 'the future is now.'

Attachments are symbolisms we place on things which matter to us, and as we grow older, what matters seems to change, hence we're provided with new somethings, and old somethings, that keep our life full of memories. Maybe memories were created to be symbolic in the past and representational in our lives, the something somethings which will always exist, and the something somethings which we maintain to exist as we live our lives. Attachment, or no attachment, one thing is true, to detach from somethings, completes such memories, giving one space to find the real deal, the true gold, and the emotional fulfillment, which can only be found when one looks within. The detachment will surmount, the goals will become visible, and most of all the peace which prevails is going much further than being stuck with a pillar.

Belief, or no belief, this belief is true, look for a religion which fulfills you, not one which holds you together, for when your meant to change, all will fall apart, and you will begin a new journey, pillar apart. So take a clue, and next time you start a new cycle, begin with self emotional fulfillment, and your intention will also be at the end, as you discover the beauty that already resides in your heart.


P.S. Religion is not always such a close minded theory as people conceive it to be. It can be in simple terms, a way of life. A chant, a prayer, a belief, an affirmation, and many small somethings which help one lead the way.

The element of learning

Does it sometimes take us several times, before we learn for ourselves that we're making a mistake

What some take a lifetime in denying, do some of us, need to repeat the same pattern till we suddenly change, overnight? Or do we willingly decide to change that very part of ourselves?

Do the mistakes become,
A- 'I did it my way,'
B- ' I don't understand'
C- 'I think I'm right'
D- All of the above

Or do we accept, the part of us which feels astray, confront it, and accept it, which sets it free, or rather confirms its existence, and henceforth allows it to rest in peace.


What about the people involved in this mistake making, it's not only our regrets, but also the fact that our mistakes might have hurt somebody else, intent or no intent, and we might continue to make the same unless we take charge, and decide to change, for the higher good of all.

Is it a belief, an insecurity, or a pure misunderstanding of relationships. Does it involve people who are now 50, and hence don't need to change, people are who 20, and too busy with their lives, people who are 40 and think they have enough experience to know what's right, or just all of us, who lack to give deep importance to the concept of relationships. Or people who are emotionally looking for some gain and remain blind to themselves, much like the three blind mice. Mouse 1 believing that such games are his/her immense power to get everything he/she wants, since of course it only includes the Best ( At another person's expense). Mouse 2 believing that such behavior is how one is truly free and makes oneself happy. ( At another person's expense),  Mouse 3 believes priding a large score sheet is as near as a happy family as can be. ( Ofcourse once again at another person's expense).


Relationships, are a general code of behavior, they involve what we think about them, what we feel about them, and henceforth how we act. When one changes, do we land up in a gold-mine, and discover that all our relationships change, because we broke a habit, or is it just a matter of good ole timing, and the effects it has on our planets, our zodiac signs, and destiny plans.

Does change become good when we surrender to it, forced to it, or plainly woken up to it coincidently.

Whilst some may stick to their stagnancy, I'd like to believe that by changing not only are we loving ourselves further, but we grow, in ways we didn't know existed, and hence as spiritualists all over the world would say, we provide a ripple of positive energy, which benefits the Universe as a whole!

And everyday we get closer, to knowing what works, what doesn't, and what needs to be let go of..  so that something better can come in!

First impressions, Last impressions?

When the past comes knocking on your front door
The bearings have changed

What was once a moment in time, seizes to be its original display
and comes around for more

When we beg to deny, that circumstances haven't changed, we haven't changed
and most importantly the relationship hasn't changed, who are we kidding..

Things which don't work anymore, come back to haunt us! Sometimes even after
the clear clarity of there being no balance, or connectivity.

It's like anything goes, no sense, no purpose, no meaning, but a mere beingness of what.. being alive!?!


When you, your life, and your relationships have changed completely, is there space for the old?

I say, we need to go back to the start. 'Guj,' over coffee, reminds me of the situation in which I met the old, let's say, settings, surroundings, and their then current intent. I start recognizing things I didn't see before, oblivious to reality, and engrossed in my freedom! In a place where debate, societies, and rights, overbalance everything else involved, is there really any space for growth, truth and a normal sense of being.Which figures, that if stating a point is your main intent, then you are definitely going to be stating points in all aspects of your life regardless of it making sense, or having a purpose. Which goes to say, that at times, we fight for rights of individuals who are truly suffering, in order to make a point, whilst creating our own power games. How ironic, I said that people who study subjects the likes of politics, are politicos in their relationships!
And Guj, made me reconsider my thought of irony, with a face that completely reflected a disinterested 'really'...

So there begins my own journey of, judging people, noticing what people do, and taking into account their behavior as reflecting who they really are.

So why is it, that we try so hard to make something work when after effort it doesn't change. We deny that the core is not right for us, and that once this is gone, there is perhaps scope, for something so much better for self.

Relationships which lack support, are not ones where your not understood, but rather, they appear to be merely the lack of interest of the opposite party to care about what you want for yourself in your life. I mean it's as simple as, right, we basically have wants in our lives, and our relationships apart from mirroring ourselves, tend to be our support system, in matters of our choices. Of course at times, there are opposing thoughts, but it only really serves to strengthen the situation eventually. What happens when people, fail to support you, but instead become the force that pulls you down, do they become enemies, misunderstood, or simply unavailable.

Somethings, I may never know, but I know what I want, in my life, and I don't need to share that in order to be loved, I think love is what's shared when you are, and another is in each others lives. Perhaps first impressions, truly are the last, maybe the start defines the end. What began as love at first sight, will always remain love at first sight whether the intimacy exists or not. What began as no comment, will always remain as no comment, even if you shared a friendship in between. And what began as empty, will always remain empty, even if it takes betrayal, lies, and 2 years to unravel.

I think the starting point is usually connected to the ending point, for we create a 360 degree circle, only to return to where we started, like the law of life, creation, death, and the element of learning providing a platform for subjects, experiences, and the next step to make sense.

Judging fashion trends

If experience doesn't give us the god damn right to be crazy, what does?

Moments, which once learnt, only expand our consciousness.
Sometimes taking time to sink in, frequently called 'coming into your own.'

This blooming phase, heard and spoken about in so many languages and phrases. One of my favorites coming from an author who explains that,  even after the harshest cold era, comes the most gloriously awaited bloom.

Yet blooming isn't something that happens once in a lifetime, it's actually something that happens to us all, especially women, every once in a while. Much like the lessons which don't stop coming around for coffee, and at times an over-extended drink. Growth doesn't get stagnant for too long, no matter how much we try and stop it!

I think at times we need to learn, how to be self dependent, as opposed to co-dependent, sometimes we come into our own, by understanding that there's a difference between being alone and being lonely, and one of the grandest somethings, that brings me to joy, is self acceptance, over any other form of the same.

I love the idea, all of this sounds so wonderful, as though we're given chance after chance, to transform into ever expanding beings, and so, all the drama that we involve in our lives, is merely a tactic to open up to the mysteries of tomorrow, or experience one of these 'metamorphosis' feelings unravelling a deep hidden want!

The pursuit of happiness, is one I'd like to imagine never being given up, for it is exactly what we want, or need that comes into our life, at any given moment! Always at the right time.. what a synchronized dance by the way..

And this I say from facts, with my ever observing alert mind. I recently found a trick, that helps me miraculously in an area of my life that I have longed for peace. And believe you me, I tried and tested the several ways to get there, ridiculous as it sounds, since I was 12.
 And 2 years ago, I intently was intent, to find this thing, regardless of where I looked, even desperately at times to get closer to that light I relished for in my life.

And well, something has arrived. All too new, but effective from the first day.

Now I stop waiting for miracles,
you see Now I see the miracle that I can be

Last night some words saved my life

I'm going back to a place I feared to return to
I'm packing my bags, after I've managed to unpack my past
I'm boarding a plane, after picking up pieces of my last life crash

And yet I'm changed, and stronger, as though my emotions have found a comfort
And as I've always wanted, they weren't found in a place, a name, a face or a game
But within, when I found the words which worked for me
That special place, my body connects with divinity

I'm mended I say, what's torn has left, and all I've taken is the strength that remained
Now I'm not broken, wait I never was, it was the second round that prevailed
Perhaps I'm like my mother, too strong to allow the journey to be framed

I think I have what I've always wanted, a religion whose core I believe in,
and state of mind that works for me.

Snow White thanks the seven dwarves or dwarfs into metamorphosis

Snow white, was a cartoon I grew up with until I heard Sara Bareille's song
concerning Fairy Tales, on a mockery of how taking care of seven men would lead anyone to have an affair in this century when dishes are the novelty of the relationship.

So the prince lost its value, with personal experiences of how these stories truly differ from the struggles of any late teenager or early adult finding love. Suddenly the notion of reality dawned in, and all was strangely changing, or finding its root fears when it came to the actualities of dating.

When I first watched snow white, my recollections included, what an evil queen, snow white sings, the dwarfs are funny, and the prince is the ending. It's like the movie had its peak moments, with these particular characteristics. I mean a lot of old disney movies depended on the prince to have an ending. And I couldn't use this notion anymore, because Snow white just dealt with one evil queen, nowadays, in the modern world, we deal with lots of obstacles, whether its people, relationships, living, finance etc etc!!

So I preferred Sara Bareille's version by the time I was 20, thinking this is easier to phantom. At least it makes sense with my surroundings. Ah but life, and it's constant change, and our constant transformation with all that is. Suddenly the dwarves weren't ignored anymore, but accepted as part of my reality. After all, they weren't just anything, they were my thoughts, and that as a person, made them my own children. The same way Snow white, dedicated her time to guiding the way for these lil men, to clean up, brush up and tweak their ways, is the same way I over the past few months, have dedicated my time, into loving my thoughts, into so  much love at times, that it feels like their lost in bliss. And that is where the difference begins, and the changes occur.

There could be so many interpretations on this, yet if the dwarves were looked at symbolically, they could be perceived as inner thoughts, maybe even personal weaknesses, or aspects of self. And the only way to truly let them rest in peace, is by setting them free with acceptance. Or the perhaps soppy repeated term of love.

I think, this is the true beginning, of self acceptance, and once that is achieved. Well the evil queen does die, because no longer does one fear change, or that part of the ego, RIP, because it settles for surrender, and embracing the ways the Universe works.

And then we all know how it ends... as fairy tale as it all sounds, disney is believable, once you have passed, the stage of being a child, and taking it as a bible. Once you have passed your resistance phase, of being a know it all, and taking it as bullshit, there comes this space, where you accept it.

 Because believe it or not, it's not ''reality'' which makes things real, but a thought, which transforms into reality.

Enough of princes, after all, the princess is the one who creates him in the first place.

I like journeys

Reading through one of my novels... well not mine specifically
but yes, they do personify my particular love for them
I came across this paragraph which really defined Karma
in words I couldn't better convey, not now anyways.

' This is the supreme lesson of karma ( and also of Western psychology, by the way)-
take care of the problems now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw
everything up the next time. And that repetition of suffering - that's hell.
Moving out of the endless repetition to a new level of understanding- that's where you'll find heaven. '

I tend to jot down these lil moments of inspiration, or understanding with markers, but this particular one was the most prominent in a novel, which will be releasing as a movie in a matter of days. It's tag line, being, 'One woman's search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia.' 3 I's, yeah ironic, the author thinks so too.

Anyhow, getting back to the quote, I guess it pretty much explains itself to be honest. Kind of like, change now, or you'll deal with the same thing till you surrender and change. The universe's simple way of saying let go of that bit of your ego, love, and the pain will go. As though it were that easy! But yes, it does get easier with practice, safe as it is to say, from experience.

Well if you ever read this book, I'm sure you'll see what I mean when I say its intricately woven into a beautiful piece, very casual, yet very refined. And who doesn't mind, traveling three countries in a form of literary experience.

Another really important aspect which touched me in this book, is the fact that everyone always talks about three levels of consciousness, books, movies, conversations, we all do. The recent Inception, was a classic case of this in practice. Yet this particular book, by Elizabeth, touches on the fourth level. The level which is aware of all three levels, as they merge, act, and live together in harmony. Some would say that that is  acknowledging self awareness, and some would say it's known as enlightenment, and some would say that's what you call  bullshit. Be my guest, and tick the appropriate column.

Interesting, leaves room, for even higher spiritual metamorphosis.