When the past comes knocking on your front door
The bearings have changed
What was once a moment in time, seizes to be its original display
and comes around for more
When we beg to deny, that circumstances haven't changed, we haven't changed
and most importantly the relationship hasn't changed, who are we kidding..
Things which don't work anymore, come back to haunt us! Sometimes even after
the clear clarity of there being no balance, or connectivity.
It's like anything goes, no sense, no purpose, no meaning, but a mere beingness of what.. being alive!?!
When you, your life, and your relationships have changed completely, is there space for the old?
I say, we need to go back to the start. 'Guj,' over coffee, reminds me of the situation in which I met the old, let's say, settings, surroundings, and their then current intent. I start recognizing things I didn't see before, oblivious to reality, and engrossed in my freedom! In a place where debate, societies, and rights, overbalance everything else involved, is there really any space for growth, truth and a normal sense of being.Which figures, that if stating a point is your main intent, then you are definitely going to be stating points in all aspects of your life regardless of it making sense, or having a purpose. Which goes to say, that at times, we fight for rights of individuals who are truly suffering, in order to make a point, whilst creating our own power games. How ironic, I said that people who study subjects the likes of politics, are politicos in their relationships!
And Guj, made me reconsider my thought of irony, with a face that completely reflected a disinterested 'really'...
So there begins my own journey of, judging people, noticing what people do, and taking into account their behavior as reflecting who they really are.
So why is it, that we try so hard to make something work when after effort it doesn't change. We deny that the core is not right for us, and that once this is gone, there is perhaps scope, for something so much better for self.
Relationships which lack support, are not ones where your not understood, but rather, they appear to be merely the lack of interest of the opposite party to care about what you want for yourself in your life. I mean it's as simple as, right, we basically have wants in our lives, and our relationships apart from mirroring ourselves, tend to be our support system, in matters of our choices. Of course at times, there are opposing thoughts, but it only really serves to strengthen the situation eventually. What happens when people, fail to support you, but instead become the force that pulls you down, do they become enemies, misunderstood, or simply unavailable.
Somethings, I may never know, but I know what I want, in my life, and I don't need to share that in order to be loved, I think love is what's shared when you are, and another is in each others lives. Perhaps first impressions, truly are the last, maybe the start defines the end. What began as love at first sight, will always remain love at first sight whether the intimacy exists or not. What began as no comment, will always remain as no comment, even if you shared a friendship in between. And what began as empty, will always remain empty, even if it takes betrayal, lies, and 2 years to unravel.
I think the starting point is usually connected to the ending point, for we create a 360 degree circle, only to return to where we started, like the law of life, creation, death, and the element of learning providing a platform for subjects, experiences, and the next step to make sense.
